Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This baby is an asshole
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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