i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
