would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
