Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
