8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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