Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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