The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize