Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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