I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
