Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
