Whod you bang
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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