It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize