That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
