Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
