thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
