Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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