help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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