...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
