He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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