Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
