Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
