the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
