best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
