Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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