My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
