...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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