she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
