The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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