I showed him my bush... on skype.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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