distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
