Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
