I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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