If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
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We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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