Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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