i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
