what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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