no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
