Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
