look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm both gender and math confused
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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