id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
