I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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