All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
