Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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