just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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