Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
