shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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