cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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