This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
