What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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