Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize