There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
