I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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