I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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