erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
