STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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