You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
