I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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