do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Umm I'm too high to move.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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