I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
