so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
