Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
we're chasing vodka with high fives
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
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question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
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you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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