Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So many bounce houses so little time
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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