Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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